When you are in love and the birds are singing and the sky is blue, its sometimes easy to forget to talk about the difficult questions that you really need to ask each other BEFORE you actually tie the knot. To help you get the ball rolling, we've outlined some important topics that should come up in your pre-wedding preparations. And remember, pre-marriage counseling is a really good idea when it comes to hashing out these topics. Your counselor/mediator will act a third party to guide you through the toughest questions. Be sure to check out banquetevent.com's counseling section to find a pre-marriage counselor for you.
1. What percentage of our income are we prepared to put toward a home (including utilities), food, entertainment, health, insurance, travel, and miscellaneous?
2. What are our long-term financial goals? What will we make in five years? 10 years? 15 years? 30 years?
3. How much time will we be spending working? Does one of us work extra hours or does our job require us to work in the evenings? How will we balance work with our "together" time?
4. If one of us was to lose our job or decide to quit, what would be our next step?
5. Are we comfortable with each other's level of ambition? Do we expect our partner to "move-up" in his/her company and increase income?
1. What place does the other's family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often?
2. Will we have children and if we will, how many? How important is it for us to have children and when?
3. Will one of us be a stay-at-home parent or will we both go back to work after a certain period?
4. What type of parents will we be? What discipline methods will we use?
5. How will having a child change the way we live now? How will it affect our relationship?
1. Who will be responsible for the chores around the house including, cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, yard work, fix-its, etc? Will the work be shared or will we have certain jobs?
2. Who will be responsible for paying the bills?
3. Will we require outside help with the maintenance of our home? Will we have a housekeeper or a landscaper?
4. Will we be adding any pets to our family? If so what kind and how many? Who will be responsible for training, feeding, walking, bathing etc.?
1. Are we satisfied with the quality and quantity of friends we currently have? Would we like to be more involved socially? Are we overwhelmed socially and need to cut back on such commitments?
2. What are my partner's needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside our relationship? Is it easy for me to support those needs, or do they bother me in any way?
1. Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?
2. Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?
3. Is there something that one of us would like to change in the other?
4. What makes for a good marriage? Love, passion, money, family life, compatibility, sex, respect, or something else?